Failure Isn’t the Issue — Not Trying Is

What I really can’t wrap my head around isn’t failure —

it’s when someone isn’t even willing to try.

Last week, I was helping my dad’s team review an event we had just finished.

I’d been involved the whole way through, so during the debrief I went through every detail — what went wrong, what could’ve been better, where the gaps were.

After I finished, my dad suddenly said,

“You’re making everyone feel beaten down. You’re not being very understanding of your team.”

That completely stunned me.

Because in my mind, he has always been way stricter with them than I ever was —

especially when it comes to KPI pressure.

So hearing him say that made me pause and really ask myself:

“Am I actually not being understanding?”

But honestly, I’ve always felt I’m pretty tolerant.

I’m totally okay with people trying, messing up, failing —

that’s not what bothers me.

What I can’t accept is this:

you don’t even try.

And that reminded me of my years working in a foreign company.

Whenever something landed on my desk, I never said “I can’t.”

If I wasn’t familiar with it, I’d learn.

If I didn’t understand it, I’d ask.

If it was hard, I’d find a way to break through.

Back then, my mindset was simple:

I’m going to get this done.

And looking back, I realized something important:

I became stronger because my boss never defined me or boxed me in.

He never gave me a label.

And that gave me the space to discover a version of myself I didn’t know existed.

That’s why I now believe, without a doubt:

what limits you isn’t your ability — it’s the moment you tell yourself “I can’t” or “I don’t know how.”

Especially in this AI era,

there’s no such thing as “I don’t know how.���

The real question is whether you’re willing to learn,

and whether you’re willing to move.

So the next time you’re about to say,

“I can’t” or “I don’t know how,”

ask yourself this:

“Did I actually try?”